When that pregnancy test showed positive, my heart stopped and I was shaking. I took another test—it read “pregnant.” I could not believe it—my worst nightmare was becoming a reality. The next few mornings later, I became panicked and hysterical, so I searched under “abortion” in the Yellow Pages and found Living Well’s ad. I called them and drove down to confirm the pregnancy with yet another test and was actually looking to get an abortion.
Living Well ended up to be a faith based clinic—I knew it was the LORD. I learned that my baby already had a heart beat and his little brain waves were developing. I cried uncontrollably—I felt that my life was over. I never thought it would happen to me. I was smart, educated and very career driven. All I wanted to do was get rid of it—there was no way I was gonna have this baby! I’m not married, not financially secure, and my parents will be heartbroken and ashamed. Coming from a traditional Chinese family, this was the worst thing I could’ve done as a daughter.
I had so many sound reasons for aborting, but yet I couldn’t stop my baby’s beating heart. I searched through Scriptures which alluded to life inside the womb and I realized that GOD had plans for my baby. So, I continued my pregnancy because it was the right thing to do. My pregnancy was emotionally difficult—the father of my baby and I weren’t together, barely even getting along. I’ve never felt so alone and depressed. When my parents and family found out, that was the most difficult and I knew it would be. Rightfully, my parents were angry, hurt, and ashamed but they did continue to love and support me. I reached out to the church, began serving in the nursery, and attended a weekly bible study for fellowship. The LORD surrounded me with tremendous love and support from family, friends, and even strangers!
My baby is now two months old and I can honestly say that I have peace and contentment. My baby is absolutely wonderful and everyone loves him. He is bringing so much joy into my life—bringing my family closer and making everyone smile. As difficult as it was to continue my pregnancy, my baby is worth it—every tear I shed, every pound I gained, and every stretch mark! I can’t imagine my life without him and it haunts me that I could’ve taken away his life. I almost killed my baby.
All I can say to another woman in this difficult situation is “Trust in the LORD. Allow your baby a chance at life and GOD will bless you in so many ways. HE has taken care of all my needs.”